Hi all,
How's your holiday been?
I am enjoying myself for the past 2 weeks and I did nothing but sleep, eat and party.
Anyway, today is the last day of 2007.
I had written down my accomplishment for the past 356 days and what I wanted to achieve in 2008.
I have some BIG goals and I am pretty confident I can achieve it in 2008.
I would love to hear what you want to achieve in 2008. Hit the comment button and let me know.
Joke of the day
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Korean Leader
Hahaha...... Korean leader lost his dentures while excited on his own speech.......
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Sooooo Accurate! MUST TRY
This one is SOOOOOO accurate!!!!! must try this okay?
Promise....It's true, .. give it a try!
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle.
You pushed open the door. In front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the hut, and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table.
In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it.
They are:
a. an apple
b. a banana
c. a strawberry
d. a peach
e. an orange
Which fruit will u choose? Your choice reveals about u!
Test results : Please SCROLL DOWN
a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat apple.
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat banana.
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat strawberry.
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat peach.
e. if you chosen orange: that means you are a person who loves to eat orange.
Gong gong one lar you!!!
GET BACK TO WORK LAH!!!
I bet u r hunting for me to squeeze my neck...well well... I am still hunting for the person who sent me this...!
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Promise....It's true, .. give it a try!
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle.
You pushed open the door. In front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the hut, and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table.
In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it.
They are:
a. an apple
b. a banana
c. a strawberry
d. a peach
e. an orange
Which fruit will u choose? Your choice reveals about u!
Test results : Please SCROLL DOWN
a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat apple.
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat banana.
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat strawberry.
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat peach.
e. if you chosen orange: that means you are a person who loves to eat orange.
Gong gong one lar you!!!
GET BACK TO WORK LAH!!!
I bet u r hunting for me to squeeze my neck...well well... I am still hunting for the person who sent me this...!
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Friday, December 28, 2007
Jingle Bells
It might be a good year and it might be not so good year but anyways its time for fun and good time with family and friends... I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a very good time and fun all along....
__________________________________________by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Thursday, December 27, 2007
George Bush jokes #9
Bush Can't Put Puzzle Together
Cheney gets a call from his "boss", George. "I've got a problem," says George.
"What's the matter?" asks Cheney.
"Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office, so, I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney.
"A big rooster," replies George.
"All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look." So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. George points at the jigsaw on his desk. Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to George and says, "For crying out loud, Georgie - put the corn flakes back in the box."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Cheney gets a call from his "boss", George. "I've got a problem," says George.
"What's the matter?" asks Cheney.
"Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office, so, I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney.
"A big rooster," replies George.
"All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look." So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. George points at the jigsaw on his desk. Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to George and says, "For crying out loud, Georgie - put the corn flakes back in the box."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
George Bush jokes #8
BUSH AND POWELL IN BAR
A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WWIII."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde"
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde? Why kill a blonde?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smartass! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WWIII."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde"
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde? Why kill a blonde?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smartass! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Christmas Holiday Notice
Jokes2all will be closed for the holidays at the following times:
We close at December 20th. We open December 26th.
We close at December 20th. We open December 26th.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
George Bush jokes #7
GEORGE BUSH IN LIBRARY
The president goes into a library. "I would like a cheeseburger and fries," he says in a loud, clear voice."
"But sir," says the assistant, "this is a library."
"Gee, I'm sorry," says Bush, and whispers very quietly, "I'd like a cheeseburger and fries."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
The president goes into a library. "I would like a cheeseburger and fries," he says in a loud, clear voice."
"But sir," says the assistant, "this is a library."
"Gee, I'm sorry," says Bush, and whispers very quietly, "I'd like a cheeseburger and fries."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Monday, December 17, 2007
George Bush jokes #6
George Bush Jokes
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."
Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.
Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."
Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.
Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Sunday, December 16, 2007
George Bush jokes #5
Welcome to heaven!
George Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him.
"You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretenses. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers. The blackboard and chalk instantly appear.
Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed.
"You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. Picasso doesn't hesitate. "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's scribbles and proceeds to sketch out a truly stunning mural. Bulls, satyrs, nude women: he captures their essences with but a few strokes of the chalk. Saint Peter claps.
"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! Come on in!"
The last to arrive is George Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head. "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
Bush looks bewildered, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs, "Come on in, George."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
George Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him.
"You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretenses. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers. The blackboard and chalk instantly appear.
Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed.
"You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. Picasso doesn't hesitate. "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein's scribbles and proceeds to sketch out a truly stunning mural. Bulls, satyrs, nude women: he captures their essences with but a few strokes of the chalk. Saint Peter claps.
"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! Come on in!"
The last to arrive is George Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head. "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
Bush looks bewildered, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs, "Come on in, George."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Saturday, December 15, 2007
George Bush jokes #4
Whose child is it?
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb sh*t, it's Tony Blair!"
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb sh*t, it's Tony Blair!"
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Friday, December 14, 2007
George Bush jokes #3
Osama's message to President Bush
After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama Bin Laden is still alive", Osama decided to personally send President Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was "still in the game".
Mr. Bush opened the letter, which contained a single line of "coded" message:
370HSSV-0773H
Mr. Bush was baffled, so he sent copies to his Chief of Staff, and several Secretaries, including Condi Rice and Donald Rumsfeld. Their assistants and aides had no clue as to the meaning or translation of the code, so it was sent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, then to the CIA and also to NASA. With no clue to the translation, they eventually asked Israel's MOSAD for help.
Within a minute, MOSAD cabled the White House with this reply:
"Tell the President he is holding the message upside down."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama Bin Laden is still alive", Osama decided to personally send President Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was "still in the game".
Mr. Bush opened the letter, which contained a single line of "coded" message:
370HSSV-0773H
Mr. Bush was baffled, so he sent copies to his Chief of Staff, and several Secretaries, including Condi Rice and Donald Rumsfeld. Their assistants and aides had no clue as to the meaning or translation of the code, so it was sent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, then to the CIA and also to NASA. With no clue to the translation, they eventually asked Israel's MOSAD for help.
Within a minute, MOSAD cabled the White House with this reply:
"Tell the President he is holding the message upside down."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Thursday, December 13, 2007
George Bush jokes #2
W is a Saint
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside Washington as part of his campaign. Karl Rove made a visit to the Bishop and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."
The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."
Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug and as the sermon progresses the Bishop begins his homily:
"George Bush is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known. But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George Bush is a saint."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside Washington as part of his campaign. Karl Rove made a visit to the Bishop and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."
The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."
Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug and as the sermon progresses the Bishop begins his homily:
"George Bush is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known. But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George Bush is a saint."
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
George Bush jokes #1
Where is JOHN?
Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask him.
One boy raised his hand and stood up.
Bush: what's your name?
John: john
Bush: what's your question?
John: sir I have three questions
1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is Osama?
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?
Bush: you are an intelligent student john (Just then the bell for recess rang). Oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.
After the recess
Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?
Peter raises his hand
Bush: What's your name?
Peter: sir I have 5 questions.
1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is Osama?
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?
4) Why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time?
5) Where is JOHN?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask him.
One boy raised his hand and stood up.
Bush: what's your name?
John: john
Bush: what's your question?
John: sir I have three questions
1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is Osama?
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?
Bush: you are an intelligent student john (Just then the bell for recess rang). Oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.
After the recess
Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?
Peter raises his hand
Bush: What's your name?
Peter: sir I have 5 questions.
1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is Osama?
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?
4) Why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time?
5) Where is JOHN?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Attorneys
*These are from a book called 'Disorder in the Courts of America' , and are things attorneys actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters, who had to suffer from the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
ITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breath ing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
ITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breath ing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Monday, December 10, 2007
The God believer & the athiest
Story goes like this. There was a believer of God, a lady (Bel), quite poor staying in a terrace house. Her neighbour (davis) is an athiest. Every morning, this will happen:
Bel: Praise be to God (praising as she opens her door)
davis: There is no God you stupid woman.
It goes on like this day after day. One day, Bel was hungry so she asked:
Bel: God, please give me food for I am hungry.
davis: There is no God you stupid woman.
The next day, bel opens her door and sees a food basket at her doorstep. She quickly praises God.
Bel: Thank you God for the food.
davis: There is no God you stupid woman .. I bought those food for you.
Bel: Praise be to God. Not only did he give me food, he made the devil pay for it.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Bel: Praise be to God (praising as she opens her door)
davis: There is no God you stupid woman.
It goes on like this day after day. One day, Bel was hungry so she asked:
Bel: God, please give me food for I am hungry.
davis: There is no God you stupid woman.
The next day, bel opens her door and sees a food basket at her doorstep. She quickly praises God.
Bel: Thank you God for the food.
davis: There is no God you stupid woman .. I bought those food for you.
Bel: Praise be to God. Not only did he give me food, he made the devil pay for it.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Fight for Kisses
Best commercial advertisement award.
Absolutely amazing funny video by Wilkinson.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Absolutely amazing funny video by Wilkinson.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Saturday, December 8, 2007
2008 Olympic Games Tickets
WIN 2 TICKETS ALL EXPENSES PAID INCLUDING AIR FARES TO THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES IN BEIJING,CHINA.
To participate is very easy, just view the attached photo, correctly answer the following questions and send your answers to:
International Olympic Committee, Private Bag, Lausanne, Switzerland.
1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?
Good Luck!
Scroll down to begin
I guess you are not going either.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
To participate is very easy, just view the attached photo, correctly answer the following questions and send your answers to:
International Olympic Committee, Private Bag, Lausanne, Switzerland.
1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?
Good Luck!
Scroll down to begin
I guess you are not going either.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Friday, December 7, 2007
Computer Bed
Do you ever think of how to utilise your bedroom ?
Here it is......
A creative design but I prefered to chit chating and surfing net while laid on my bed. Don't you ?
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Here it is......
A creative design but I prefered to chit chating and surfing net while laid on my bed. Don't you ?
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Nike Advertisement
Nike used a few creative ways for advertisement to show distance runner Bernard Lagat busting through.
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by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Murphy's other Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, some blinking taxi would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, some blinking taxi would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
What a Beauty
Hahaha...... cut from a funny Hong Kong movie. Watch it since I was a child.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Monday, December 3, 2007
My Art Class
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Spain bullfighting
Ouch!! What are u looking at? Help to get me out!!
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
What is Marketing
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: ' I am very rich. Marry me! ' - That's Direct Marketing'
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: ' He's very rich. 'Marry him.' -That's Advertising'
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: ' Hi, I'm very rich. 'Marry me - That's Telemarketing'
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:'By the way, I'm rich. Will you 'Marry Me?' - That's Public Relations'
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:'You are very rich! 'Can you marry ! Me?' - That's Brand Recognition'
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - ' That's Customer Feedback '
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' And she introduces you to her husband. - 'That's demand and supply gap'
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him - 'That's competition eating into your market share'
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: 'I'm rich, Marry me!' your wife arrives. - ' That's restriction for entering new markets '
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: ' He's very rich. 'Marry him.' -That's Advertising'
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: ' Hi, I'm very rich. 'Marry me - That's Telemarketing'
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:'By the way, I'm rich. Will you 'Marry Me?' - That's Public Relations'
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:'You are very rich! 'Can you marry ! Me?' - That's Brand Recognition'
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - ' That's Customer Feedback '
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: 'I am very rich. Marry me!' And she introduces you to her husband. - 'That's demand and supply gap'
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: 'I'm rich. Will you marry me?' and she goes with him - 'That's competition eating into your market share'
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: 'I'm rich, Marry me!' your wife arrives. - ' That's restriction for entering new markets '
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Send this to your boss
Hi Boss,
People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes
People who do less work...
make less mistakes
People who do no work...
make no mistakes
People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted
That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes
People who do less work...
make less mistakes
People who do no work...
make no mistakes
People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted
That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
How They Died ?
Two women were discussing how they died.
Woman 1: I froze to death, it was not bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
Woman 2: I died of massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating. I came home early to catch him in act. Instead, I found him all by himself in the lounge, watching TV.
Woman 1: So what happened?
Woman 2: I was so sure there was another woman there, somewhere, that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down the basement. Then I went throughout every closet and checked under the bed. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere. Finally became so exhausted that I just kneeled over and died of a massive heart attack.
Woman 1: Too bad you did not look into the freezer; we would both be still alive.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Woman 1: I froze to death, it was not bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
Woman 2: I died of massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating. I came home early to catch him in act. Instead, I found him all by himself in the lounge, watching TV.
Woman 1: So what happened?
Woman 2: I was so sure there was another woman there, somewhere, that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down the basement. Then I went throughout every closet and checked under the bed. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere. Finally became so exhausted that I just kneeled over and died of a massive heart attack.
Woman 1: Too bad you did not look into the freezer; we would both be still alive.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Monday, November 26, 2007
Guys are always guys
Guys are always guys !!!
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Hokkien Bond
Finally there are James Bond in hokkien version.
__________________________________________by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Saturday, November 24, 2007
21st Century
Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less.!!
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Cute Nipple
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Monkey in Paradise
Ooh la laa......
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Can you explain ?
It's amazing...... how he can do that ? Can you explain ?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Monday, November 19, 2007
Which are Attractive ?
Why are women more attractive than men ?
Women......
and men !!!
...... Any other question ?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Women......
and men !!!
...... Any other question ?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Writing About The Sea
Junior School Children Writing About The Sea :
1) An octopus has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)
6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
1) An octopus has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)
6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)
13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Stress at Work
When you are in the stress office environment, don't try to entertain yourself like this...... or you will be the next victim...... hahaha !!!
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Friday, November 16, 2007
Eternal Question
Answer to the Eternal Question :
Why do Women live longer than Men ?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Why do Women live longer than Men ?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Investment Analyst
Young and pretty lady wishes to marry a rich guy. Fantastic reply from a financial person.
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: "What should I do to marry a rich guy?"
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out?
(Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.
signed, J.P. Morgan
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: "What should I do to marry a rich guy?"
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out?
(Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.
signed, J.P. Morgan
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Air Force and Army
Do you know the differentiate between the Air Force and the Army ?
NO ?
Well, here's the Air Force
And...... Here's the Army !!!
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
NO ?
Well, here's the Air Force
And...... Here's the Army !!!
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
2 Lines Humour
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife.
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss.
But I only sl ept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other.
That is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's emptyand so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes .......
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife.
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss.
But I only sl ept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other.
That is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's emptyand so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes .......
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Monday, November 12, 2007
Office Working Pressure
This fella obvously under pressure and guys...... don't try it at office !!!
__________________________________________by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Paris and New York
Do you know how the difference between Paris and New York ?
Paris
and New York
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Paris
and New York
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Naughty Yet Creative
A naughty guy draw a series of cartoons in creative way.
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Friday, November 9, 2007
Psychiatric Hotline
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Words Women Use
Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.
* Send this to the Men you know and want to help, or to the Women you know for a laugh.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.
* Send this to the Men you know and want to help, or to the Women you know for a laugh.
__________________________________________
by Psychologist Wannabe
web : http://psychologistwannabe.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Lock Your Car
I'm proudly introducing you a new way to lock your car. Cheap and effective...... The driver is Mr. Bean ?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
ME and MY BOSS
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough.
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy.
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative.
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating.
When I make a mistake,
I am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around,
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick,
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview,
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked.
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets.
__________________________________________
by ~Tiramisu~
web : -
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough.
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy.
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative.
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating.
When I make a mistake,
I am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around,
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick,
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview,
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked.
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets.
__________________________________________
by ~Tiramisu~
web : -
Monday, November 5, 2007
Before n After Marriage
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top!!!!
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top!!!!
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Ice Hockey
"Hey, you know to play or not ??? Focus, please focus......
OMG, I wish I could kill you!!!"
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Microsoft Windows
2 things to think :
1. Just wondering if microsoft copy this design for the window's logo......
2. This can be Bill Gates's previous house......
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Friday, November 2, 2007
Isteri Kesayangan
Pak Mat adalah seorang penduduk sebuah pondok di Selatan Thailand.
Pada pertengahan bulan Mei yang lalu isterinya yang bernama Maznah telah meninggal dunia kerana diserang penyakit jantung. Pak Mat yang berusia menjangkau empat puluhan telah diperhatikan oleh jiran-jirannya agak luar biasa iaitu beliau telah pergi ke kubur isterinya sebanyak tiga kali sehari. Pak Mat pergi pada waktu pagi, tengah hari dan petang untuk menyiram kubur isterinya lebih dari dua minggu secara berterusan.
Ada setengah dari jiran dan penduduk tempatan beranggapan Pak Mat begitu cintakan isterinya. Seorang sudaranya yang terdekat telah berkata, Awak ni terlalu sangat cintakan isteri sehingga sanggup berbuat demikian, yang mana tak ada siapa lagi dikampung ini buat begitu.
Pak Mat menjawab, sebenarnya sebelum Maznah hendak hembuskan nafas yang terakhirnya, beliau telah berpesan kepada saya, kalau hendak kahwin pun tunggulah sehingga rumput di kuburnya tumbuh dahulu. Oleh yang demikian saya terpaksa siram kuburnya supaya rumput cepat tumbuh.
__________________________________________
by ~Tiramisu~
web : -
Pada pertengahan bulan Mei yang lalu isterinya yang bernama Maznah telah meninggal dunia kerana diserang penyakit jantung. Pak Mat yang berusia menjangkau empat puluhan telah diperhatikan oleh jiran-jirannya agak luar biasa iaitu beliau telah pergi ke kubur isterinya sebanyak tiga kali sehari. Pak Mat pergi pada waktu pagi, tengah hari dan petang untuk menyiram kubur isterinya lebih dari dua minggu secara berterusan.
Ada setengah dari jiran dan penduduk tempatan beranggapan Pak Mat begitu cintakan isterinya. Seorang sudaranya yang terdekat telah berkata, Awak ni terlalu sangat cintakan isteri sehingga sanggup berbuat demikian, yang mana tak ada siapa lagi dikampung ini buat begitu.
Pak Mat menjawab, sebenarnya sebelum Maznah hendak hembuskan nafas yang terakhirnya, beliau telah berpesan kepada saya, kalau hendak kahwin pun tunggulah sehingga rumput di kuburnya tumbuh dahulu. Oleh yang demikian saya terpaksa siram kuburnya supaya rumput cepat tumbuh.
__________________________________________
by ~Tiramisu~
web : -
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Cute n Funny Dog Pics
And the last one is so sorry mummy...I will not bite on your shoe anymore...
__________________________________________
by blogatouilleweb : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Superhero's part time job
Do you ever think of what are superhero doing during their free time ?
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Husband And Wife
Shut Up
住口
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
如果你的狗在後門吠，而你的妻子在前門大喊大叫，你會讓那一個先進來?
The Dog of course...at least he ll shut up after you let him in!
當然是狗，至少它進來後會住口!
****************************************************
Three Children
三個孩子
A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome! but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward.
一對夫婦有三個孩子。 有兩個特別聰明和英俊，可是第三個孩子卻很醜很笨。
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, Tell me the truth, dear. Is this third child really mine?
一天，丈夫很懷疑地問： " 坦白說，親愛的，老三真的是我的孩子嗎？
" Yes, dear, replied the wife, but the other two are not."
" 是的，親愛的。 " 妻子答道： " 可是另外兩個不是。" ****************************************************
Three Qualities
妻子的三項優點
When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities: she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed.
一位單身漢新婚時，妻子有三項優點： 在廚房她是經濟學者、在客廳她是貴族、在床上她是惡魔。
After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order: she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.
若干年後，這三項優點依然存在，可是秩序有點變動： 在廚房她是貴族、在客廳她是惡魔、在床上她是經濟學者。
****************************************************
Wishing Well
許願井
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
一對夫妻來到一座許願井。 丈夫靠過去，丟下一個硬幣，許了個願。 The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, It really works!
妻子也打算許個願。可是她靠的太過去，掉下井，被淹死了。 丈夫呆了一回，然後笑著說： " 真靈驗。 "
****************************************************
Anniversary
結婚周年
I asked my wife, Where do you want to go on our anniversary?
我問太太： " 結婚周年紀念，你想去那 ?? ？
" She said, Somewhere I have never been! !
她說： " 那裡都好，只要是我沒去過的地方。
" I told her, How about the kitchen? ??
我說： " 廚房怎麼樣？ "
****************************************************
Happiest Hour
快樂時光
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn t talk for an hour?
在二十五周年紀念時，一位太太提醒她的丈夫： " 你還記得你向我求婚的那天，我被打動得無法說話長達一小時？
" The hubby replied : Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.
丈夫回答： " 是的，親愛的，那是我一生中最快樂的時光。 " ****************************************************
Hold Hands
手拉手
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
我們時常都手拉手。如果放開，她就會去購物了。 ****************************************************
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
住口
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
如果你的狗在後門吠，而你的妻子在前門大喊大叫，你會讓那一個先進來?
The Dog of course...at least he ll shut up after you let him in!
當然是狗，至少它進來後會住口!
****************************************************
Three Children
三個孩子
A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome! but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward.
一對夫婦有三個孩子。 有兩個特別聰明和英俊，可是第三個孩子卻很醜很笨。
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, Tell me the truth, dear. Is this third child really mine?
一天，丈夫很懷疑地問： " 坦白說，親愛的，老三真的是我的孩子嗎？
" Yes, dear, replied the wife, but the other two are not."
" 是的，親愛的。 " 妻子答道： " 可是另外兩個不是。" ****************************************************
Three Qualities
妻子的三項優點
When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities: she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed.
一位單身漢新婚時，妻子有三項優點： 在廚房她是經濟學者、在客廳她是貴族、在床上她是惡魔。
After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order: she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.
若干年後，這三項優點依然存在，可是秩序有點變動： 在廚房她是貴族、在客廳她是惡魔、在床上她是經濟學者。
****************************************************
Wishing Well
許願井
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
一對夫妻來到一座許願井。 丈夫靠過去，丟下一個硬幣，許了個願。 The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, It really works!
妻子也打算許個願。可是她靠的太過去，掉下井，被淹死了。 丈夫呆了一回，然後笑著說： " 真靈驗。 "
****************************************************
Anniversary
結婚周年
I asked my wife, Where do you want to go on our anniversary?
我問太太： " 結婚周年紀念，你想去那 ?? ？
" She said, Somewhere I have never been! !
她說： " 那裡都好，只要是我沒去過的地方。
" I told her, How about the kitchen? ??
我說： " 廚房怎麼樣？ "
****************************************************
Happiest Hour
快樂時光
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn t talk for an hour?
在二十五周年紀念時，一位太太提醒她的丈夫： " 你還記得你向我求婚的那天，我被打動得無法說話長達一小時？
" The hubby replied : Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.
丈夫回答： " 是的，親愛的，那是我一生中最快樂的時光。 " ****************************************************
Hold Hands
手拉手
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
我們時常都手拉手。如果放開，她就會去購物了。 ****************************************************
__________________________________________
by blogatouille
web : jokes2all.blogspot.com
Monday, October 29, 2007
Interview Rejects
Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u!
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Companydon't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.
Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider. This personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!
Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.
Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.
Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshoper"!(Job hoper lah!)
Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing with money and you will seduce.
Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich. He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness. Will affect our manager's working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!
__________________________________________
by ~Tiramisu~
web : -
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u!
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Companydon't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.
Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider. This personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!
Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.
Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.
Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshoper"!(Job hoper lah!)
Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing with money and you will seduce.
Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich. He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness. Will affect our manager's working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!
__________________________________________
by ~Tiramisu~
web : -
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Welcome
Hi there,
My blog's name is clear and direct. Yes, its all about jokes no matter it is written in words, photos, videos or other methods.
As a place where jokes are exchanged and shared, you are welcome to send in or forward as many jokes as possible you have. I will manage it and post it up. For each joke received, the name of provider/sender and/or the website (url) will be published.
So, what are you waiting for ? Just include me in your mailing list for the jokes whenever you forward and share with your friends.
* Remember to send me your information stated above. Only for the first time.
My blog's name is clear and direct. Yes, its all about jokes no matter it is written in words, photos, videos or other methods.
As a place where jokes are exchanged and shared, you are welcome to send in or forward as many jokes as possible you have. I will manage it and post it up. For each joke received, the name of provider/sender and/or the website (url) will be published.
So, what are you waiting for ? Just include me in your mailing list for the jokes whenever you forward and share with your friends.
* Remember to send me your information stated above. Only for the first time.
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